Thursday, March 21, 2013

Heartbreak

I have a race in 2 weeks.  It's my first half marathon of the year.  I had big plans for this race.  I worked hard, I got up at a ridiculous time of day to get my runs in.  I was ready.

Then life happened.

On Sunday afternoon, I was exercising.  Nothing unusual...until I heard a pop and found myself on the floor.  Next came pain in my calf that took my breath away.

Oh crap.  Something is very wrong.

I tried to get up, but could barely manage a crawl.  Randy had gone to the store, so I gave Ellie specific instructions to get me ice.  She was a rock star.  I called Randy and told him that I needed him to come home. 

I'm not sure why.  He couldn't do anything for me, except be there with me while I panicked.  All I knew was I was in pain.  Serious pain and I was terrified.  He's my rock.  I needed him.

Randy asked if I wanted to go get it checked out by a doctor.  I knew I needed to do something.  I couldn't walk, but had no crutches in the house and the pain was out of this world.  We decided to go to the ER since we knew an x-ray wouldn't show anything and there isn't an MRI at urgent care.  It turns out that the ER won't do an MRI unless it's ordered by an orthopedic surgeon so it was kind of a waste of an ER co-pay, but whatever.  The ER doc felt around my calf, which hurt like a bitch, and checked out the range of motion I had with my foot, which was not much, and said I tore a calf muscle.

NOOOOOOOOO!  Sonofabitch! 

I won't even tell you all of the four-letter words that came out of my innocent little mouth.  You might think less of me.  I will tell you that I cried.  A lot.  The pain, the anger, the disappointment; crying is how I deal.  I can promise you, I'm still not done.

I was pissed.  I'm still pissed, but for slightly different reasons.  Of course my first thought was for my race.  I probably won't be running in time and even if I am, I won't be racing a half marathon.  Ok, yes, there will be other races.  It's not that big of a deal to miss this one.

After I got over myself a little, I thought of my friend Kate.  She's running her first full marathon at the same race and I'd planned to run with her for the last few miles.  I won't be able to run her in for her very first marathon.  And I cried again.

This.Totally.Sucks.

The only ray of sunshine in this whole mess is the little ladies repeatedly calling my crutches "crotches".  I giggle every time. 

Aleena even made me a walking stick (out of markers) so I wouldn't need the "crotches" anymore.  Love that kid.

On Tuesday, I had an appointment to see the orthopedic and he put me in this little number.

Where is the pink?  Where are the sparkles?  How boring.  And heavy.  This sucks. 

The bad news is that this boring, ugly, heavy boot is my new BFF for 3 weeks, then I go to physical therapy for 6 weeks.  The good news is that this boring, ugly heavy boot is my new BFF for only 3 weeks.  It could be much worse.  Plus, I most likely won't have to wait until I'm done with PT to start running.  Plus, getting into the boot, got me out
of the "crotches".  The ortho thinks I'll be able to run my half in May, but I won't be racing it.  I'm ok with that. (not that I have much of a choice)

So...no running, jumping or squatting for a while, but I have been cleared for any upper body exercises as long as I leave my lower half alone.  I'll just have to focus on abs and arms for a while until I get my legs back.

I will be a good little girl, follow all of the rules and get better.  In doing so, I'm going to have less time at the computer.  Sitting in this chair with my foot on the floor causes my leg to swell so I'll be spending more time laying down with my foot elevated than at the desk blogging.  You might not hear from me for a little while, but I'll still be reading your blogs (I can do that on my phone).

I'll say farewell for now.  You'll hear from me again when the swelling goes down.

If you haven't entered to win the Endorphin Warrior Training Bracelet, enter here.  I'll be notifying the winner tomorrow!